The weirdness of life and why i haven't uploaded art

2016-10-31 00:39:04 by MatthewLopz

Right, there's a few things that i kinda get off my chest, lately i've been having this weird feeling, when i was younger i suffered from bipolar dissorder, i used to feel depressed and anxious randomly from time to time, from a while back im on medication, now i don't say this cause im feeling depressed, or anxious, or to call for help or to seek attention, i wana tell what i feel and what it has done to my art.

*The Explanation*

Lately i've had this feeling that i can only describe as empty, neither sad nor happy, things don't really feel quite right, the feeling of monotony, the everyday that doesn't bring anything new, i feel stuck, and the real problem with all this is the fact that i don't know where i should go from here, the inspiration is dead.

*The Art*

Now, off with the sad stuff (mostly), i was someone who always drew pretty much the same thing, now there's nothing wrong with that, i actually quite liked it, while it was similar all the time it still felt fresh to me, now since the inspiration feels dead i haven't done much either than sketching, haven't done a finished painting since 2 months ago or so, now with the sketching tho, all i've done is experimenting, trying as much shit as i can to feel that fresh and fun feeling that i used to have when i drew, and then we get to where we are now.

*The Future*

I'm writting this as of right now, cause im starting to get the wisp of fun when i draw again, all i have done is experimenting and while i still haven´t get my head to what i wana do, im slowly getting there, my art is at somepoint a representation of my life, even if it doesn't look anything like it, it´s what i wana do, it´s what i wana draw. it´s the shits and giggles that i want, i'm in the procces of change, and i hope  the few people that have followed me and hopefully the future followers will like it, cause art is still a really important part of my life, and i want it to stay that way. More art to come soon.

-Thanks to everyone  who was supported me since the first time i drew.

 


Comments

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polarpoolepolarpoole

2016-11-04 00:17:11

I won't lie and say I'm one of those who has been here from the start, I literally just found your art a few minutes ago, but from looking at what you've done I can tell you're a seriously talented dude and the fact that you're finding yourself in a rut right now (artistic or otherwise) proves that you actually want to expand on your artform. But branching into a different style or mindset or workset takes a long time. I had a really bad block after I finished a big project of mine in the April of last year and have only really managed to start moving out of it now. But my style is completely different now, as is my head, so I can relate to you a lot. I think that getting stuck in these ruts happens to everyone, whether it's related to art or a relationship or whatever. But you get out of them eventually, and I think that's just part of being human in a post-capitalist world. Meaning kind of dissipates sometimes. But with the loss of meaning begins the excitement of building it back up again. In a way you're lucky, you're able to completely retool how you feel about yourself and your work and your environment. It's a long process but you'll get to the other side. Life isn't so short that you can't afford to get stuck in it every now and again.

As for the general mundanity of your life, why don't you think about what you would really like to be doing and do that? Do you wanna spend all day in school/college/work? Or do you wanna spend all day drawing? Or do you wanna spend all day in your underwear eating ice cream and watching youtube videos? Do what you want to do, not what you feel you should be doing. You shouldn't feel guilty, you should feel content. Give yourself a break if you need to.

I really hope that was mildly comprehensible, I just saw that you were feeling a way that I've been feeling this past year and needed to try and relay some of the things I've learnt from it. Hope you can get over this hump in one piece, dude. Just remember that you're making your art for yourself, not for other people. Whether you have one follower, three hundred followers or a million, the only person that your art is created for is you.